Sunday, January 30, 2011

50 Questions Meme, Part 3

Part three of the 50 Questions That Will Free Your Mind, because it's late, I can't sleep, and FX has finished it's episodes of Justified for the evening.

7. Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing?

Right now, I'm settling for what I'm doing. I enjoyed the job I was doing before I went to grad school, but I was restless. I needed a change. I thought that I wanted to teach after working in a university for so long, but now I don't know. It's hard going back to school with a lecture hall full of kids who are just out of their undergrad and remember everything -- where you're sitting there trying desperately to fall back on 10 year old information that you think you remember learning in the one class on this subject that sparked your original interest.

So right now, I don't know what I want to do at the end of this. So I'm doing what I'm doing. Although, you could say, I believe in the power of education.

8. If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently?

I'm inching up on 30, so I don't know if I would've done anything differently if it all ends at 40. I think this is more of a question for someone looking back way past 40. I want to say that I would've traveled earlier, although that would've meant not meeting a couple of people at this past job who've become amazing friends that I wouldn't give up for the world (and who will hopefully get on a plane and come see me halfway across the world for some adventures).

Although maybe I'd try to live with less regret. I tend to over analyze decisions and dwell. Seriously dwell. I'd try to fix that if I knew I had a sooner expiration date.

9. To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken?

I've controlled it, but I've tended to take the safe option. Not because it was the one I was passionate about, but because it was safe. I talk a big talk, but at heart big, potentially big fail inducing decisions terrify me. Moving across the world for graduate school was the first big, potentially fail inducing, solitary endeavor has been the first thing that I feel like I've just jumped and done it. Was it a good choice -- we'll see. But I finally made a big choice.

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